If you are anything like me, you may always assume that other people think the same way you do. Even though we might know that's not true, it's easy to forgot! 

I've found that when I am irritated at someone or frustrated, it obviously helps me to look at things from their perspective. As a type nine, "The Peacemaker",  I am often quite good at this. But other times I simply just can't seem to understand people! 

The enneagram is something that has truly helped me to realize just how different we are from each other. ( and that's not a bad thing!) It has opened up conversations with my friends and family that has helped me see into their hearts and minds, in a way that I may have never before. 

While many of us may do the same things and have some similar behaviors, it is the motive behind those behaviors that show us who we really are. 

For example; twos and nines can be confused often because of their tendency to be 'people pleasers'. 

I have gotten myself into trouble many times trying to do too much. However my reason behind this is different than hers. The reason I don't say no to things I don't really want to do isn't necessarily because I don't want to disappoint them, but rather the awkwardness in doing so, or the conflict that could ensue if I say no. I say yes to things I don't want to do because it would disturb my equilibrium and may cause possible conflict. 

A bad habit I have is saying yes in the moment and regretting it later, and backing out of things or just doing things and being miserable all the while. 

 When what I should say is, "let me think about that and I'll get back to you. Then I can take the time to really decide what I want to do.

Emily (my bestie) on the other hand is a two. Saying no is much harder for twos than for nines, because it is at the core of who a two is to be a chronic people pleaser. To go above and beyond to help other people no matter what. Twos are usually very charismatic likable people, because they want EVERYONE to like them! As you can imagine, this may get in the way of a two actually caring  for him or herself. The two doesn't say no because they are scared of not being liked or wanted. 

We are often similar in our behaviors and issues, but our motives are entirely different. That is just a small example of the many ways we can get confused with the WHY behind the WHAT. 

 I have accepted that there are some people in life that I may never fully understand, but it is crucial that we try. Even just a little bit of understanding can go a long way in giving you compassion for someone else. It may not be easy, but I believe as a Christian it's what I am called to do and it is vital for our growth. 

I encourage you to research the enneagram types and see which one you identify with as well as take the test. It took me awhile to figure out what I was, so don't be afraid to do a little digging. Here are some resources that helped me figure out my type;