Confession; I'm obsessed with personality tests. If I see one on facebook or pinterest I basically HAVE to take it, even though it might be as stupid as 'what kind of bread matches your personality' or 'what disney princess are you?" When my friend Emily introduced me to the enneagram, I jumped on it. I like the enneagram because it helps me better understand myself, and other people. I like trying figure out what makes a person tick and their motives behind everything. What is so funny is that it took me a few tries to figure out what type I was.


I have trouble finding out who I am because I'm so easily influence by those around me. You like pizza? Oh, I like it too. You wanna go bowling? Yeah let's go. You hate tacos? ok I hate them too. I tend to merge myself with whatever I find is going to create the least amount of conflict, therefore being a people pleaser instead of staying true to myself. Low and behold, I'm a nine. "The Peacemaker". 

Being a good friend sometimes means not always telling people what they want to hear. If that's the case, sometimes I'm a really bad friend. I once heard someone describe nines as a 'chameleon' because they shift themselves depending on who is around them. I relate with that beyond measure. I feel like I have different personalities for different people. I don't do it consciously of course, it just unfolds that way.

What's so ironic is by changing myself and becoming a people pleaser in order to 'keep the peace', it often does just the opposite. I have gotten myself into trouble many times because of my inability to stay true to myself, or saying yes or maybe when I mean to say no.

My default setting is to keep quiet, blend in, make everyone happy. But in doing so I can lose myself and end up creating a passive aggressive explosion. 

It's so hard for me to speak up sometimes. To say what I'm actually thinking and realize that it matters. But I'm workin' on it. I think being a Christian, understanding my 'default' setting and praying that God can help me to become more like him, makes ALL the difference. We're all sinful people, but we're all very unique individuals with different strengths and weaknesses.

If you haven't taken the enneagram, I highly encourage you to do so. Being honest about who you really are can be tough, but it's worth the time and energy. Because then we can work on not changing who we are, but growing into who we were really meant to be.